So imagine my surprise when Cooper turned about a year old and people started to be like, “dude. You need to cut that thing off of his head.” I thought I had another year. It couldn’t possibly be time to cut my baby’s fine, downy hair, right? I mean, sure, the bangs were growing into his eyes a little bit…

…and perhaps, he occasionally had a Rod Stewart-type thing going on…

…But he’s just a baby! I can’t just go cutting all of his hair off, right? Plus, if I did that, it would just stick up more!

I don’t know what finally changed my mind. Maybe it was my sister constantly telling me that he looks like a ragamuffin, maybe it was the waitresses saying things like, “oh, ha ha. His hair is so silly!”, maybe it was when I was washing his hair and realized that I could probably put it in a ponytail if I wanted to. Whatever it was, last night, Cooper had his first haircut.

One of the reasons that I thought 2 was the magic age for haircuts is probably because I can’t picture a barely-verbal baby sitting still while some nice lady pointed scissors at his skull for 20 minutes or so. Cooper is a 14-month-old boy. He doesn’t even stay still while he’s sleeping. I’ll often find him at the opposite end of his crib, splayed out on his tummy, with a foot poking through the bars. I figured he would completely freak out, and he’d just end up with a giant bald spot, and possibly need stitches.

In order to mitigate the disaster, I wanted to find a place that specialized in kids’ haircuts. Turns out there’s only one of those around, Eclips Kids. I was initially hesitant, as they offer mani/pedis for little kids, and that freaks me out. However, it was either them or the Hair Cuttery across the street, and I figured someone who specifically dealt with kids on a daily basis would be better.

This was the right decision, as the stylist had toys for him to hold onto and play with, and Scooby Doo playing on a flat screen at her station. I have no idea what came over him, but Cooper was a freakin’ CHAMP. He let her put the apron on him, and he didn’t tear it off like every bib I’ve ever put on him.

I was surprised enough by that, but then when she actually started cutting his hair, he remained PERFECTLY STILL. It was the freakiest thing I’d ever seen.

He didn’t fight, he didn’t fuss, he didn’t make a single peep. I had to distract him a couple of times, but if he were as easy just during an average afternoon at home as he was sitting in a chair, getting a haircut, I would probably homeschool the kid. It was that crazy.

In the end, she just trimmed the perimeter, leaving the top untouched, as to not make it stick up even more. It’s really short, and It’s going to take me a lot longer to get used to than Cooper, the baby Zen haircut master.

Rod Stewart/Image: Scott Heppell/AP