I’m a terrible singer, and I’m sure if I took voice lessons, I would improve, but let’s be honest: I’m just this side of tone deaf, and I’m never going to make it on American Idol (also, because I am old. To wit: As I was writing this sentence, I pulled a six-inch-long grey hair off of my cardigan. I may as well be sipping Metamucil as I punch this into my typewriter).
I’m also a terrible runner, for many reasons. I have no pace, I’m pretty sure I put all of my weight on the left side of my body, and my sports bra does things to me that the picture above illustrates. I took that photo after I got back from the gym, to document my abuse at the cold hands of the treadmill. The sore was just forming then, and as the days went on it started to ooze. The whole thing was awful and hurt like hell.
The worst part, actually, wasn’t the pain; it was that most of my shirts don’t cover it up. So I was walking around with this odd sore on my collarbone that people kept on asking me about. My favorite responses? “I let the baby watch Twilight, and he keeps on trying to ‘change’ me,” and “Luke burns me with cigarettes when I displease him.” I really should probably just tell people the truth the first time they ask, but why not make a weird situation even more awkward?
Ouch!!! You should google this: Enell Sports Bra. It’s expensive, but it’s supposedly THE sports bra for the generously endowed. Oprah has mentioned it many, many times on her show.
I actually have one! It’s not the one that wounded me, but it exacerbated the situation when I used it the next day. I’m going to try again using that one first.