Posts from ‘April, 2008’

I had an important realization over the weekend: The question of peeing my pants is not a matter of if, but when.

I love maternity clothes. Like, to an uncomfortable degree. I’m only 17 1/2 weeks along, so I can still pretty much fit into my regular clothes, but I recently realized something very important: I’m only truly happy when I’m wearing jeans with an elastic waist that comes up to my boobs.

Me: Dude. I can’t be the only one who thinks potty chairs are unbelievably gross.
Dave: Oh, just wait until you have your kid.
Me: What? No. My kid is getting a seat that sits on the actual toilet and a step stool.
Dave: But kids find that daunting.
Me: I don’t care! I’m not having my child taking [...]

I was watching The Office last night…alone, and when Jim pulled out the engagement ring that he had bought for Pam the week after they started dating, I actually gasped and screamed, “Oh my God!”
And then I got really depressed because I doubted I would have the same explosive reaction when confronted with my own [...]

“Hey, can I use the drill on these?”“Huh? Oh, no. NO, no, no, no, no. Do you have a little wrench?”“A wrench?”“Yeah, mine came with a little wrench. Does it have a groove on the side?”“A what?”“A groo–just let me look at it. Oh, this has a screw head.”“I know it has a screw head, [...]